


It's Okay To Take A Break

by Vox (Meislovely)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, With some fluff after, anxiety attack, not like a lot but still, tw:blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 06:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10182368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meislovely/pseuds/Vox
Summary: “Are you alright?”No! She wanted to scream. I’m not alright! Nothing is alright! But there was no way to explain it. There was no cause or reason. The feeling always snuck up on her and made her feel like she was going to lose her mind. Like something was just wrong and she had to find it and fix it before she fell apart at the seams.(Pearl has an anxiety attack and her friends help her out.)





	

It took her three tries to get her key into the lock.

Pearl shuffled through the front door of her warm apartment, hanging her coat on the hook. The purple and black coats there implied that her roommates were already home. Though, they were probably in bed. It was nearly midnight and the living room was dark save for the small slivers of moonlight that made their way through the curtains. She gave a silent thanks to Amethyst for not leaving the TV on (or to Garnet, for turning it off after her) and shuffled to her room to set down her bag.

The shaking of her hands caught her attention and she took a deep breath. A certain nervous energy had plagued her all day. It started when she woke up 30 minutes late and, while she was still on time, it threw off her entire routine. As if to follow the example, work was an absolute mess. Her report was sent back  _ twice _ even though she had checked every single word until her brain threatened to turn to mush. She ended up having to stay long after everyone else had gone home. To top it off, Peridot had turned the coffee machine into a combat robot. Pearl didn’t think that the stains were going to come out of her shirt.

In fact, she threw the shirt directly into the trash when she took it off. She figured a nice hot shower would calm her frayed nerves but, Unfortunately, not even the warm water could wash away the jittery anxiety that kept her muscles wound tightly. If anything, the feeling of water on her skin and the smell of her shampoo made her want to grind her teeth. Pearl pulled on her pajamas (A large sweater and some shorts), grumbling when she nearly tore the damn things in her aggravation.

At least it was a Friday.

She sat down on her bed, running unsteady fingers through her hair and doing her best to calm down. No amount of deep breathing and happy thoughts seemed to deter the feeling that she was forgetting something. That something was  _ wrong _ .

Pearl finally gave up on relaxing, ignoring her aching muscles to get up and look around her room. Everything in here was fine. Everything was in it’s place, not a scrap of trash or dirty clothing anywhere in sight.

Her frown deepened as she wandered into the living room, relieved to find an empty potato chip bag that she could throw away, but nothing else to do. She contemplated sitting down and watching something, but that static spreading through her limbs had her moving on to the kitchen.

What was usually the worst room in the apartment was nearly spotless. The pale blue counters were wiped down, the dishes were washed and put away, and the linoleum floor had been swept and mopped. Pearl wanted to rip her hair out. She let out a groan, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyelids. Pearl  _ knew _ that she should be grateful.  Her roommates had been so thoughtful today, but she needed to do  _ something _ .

An idea struck her and she opened the cupboard, a relieved smile spreading across her face. They both had a tendency to put the dishes away messily, and while it would usually annoy her, she now had something to organize. 

Her wobbly hands took the dishes out as quietly as possible (it was quite late after all) and began to sort them into groups. Plates, bowls, cups. It didn’t take long, but it gave her a bit of much needed relief.

As she lifted the last plate, it slipped out of her fingers and fell to the ground, shattering with a noise loud enough to make her jolt and gasp.

Slowly, her eyes fell on the broken pieces of glass, hands coming down to grip at her stomach with renewed trembling. She couldn’t leave well enough alone, could she? She should’ve just stayed in her room! She was always clumsier when she was like this and now the entire set was ruined because she couldn’t control herself.

She dropped to her knees quickly, trying to gather up the shards and get rid of them before somebody found out. She knew they wouldn’t care about the matching set as much as she did, but the thought of them finding out filled her with hot humiliation. She  _ knew _ it was unreasonable, but she just wanted the awful feeling to  _ go away _ .

“Hey Pearl, what was that noise?”

Pearl’s head snapped up, vision going a bit blurry as her eyes locked on Amethyst’s sleepy face. It was over. She had been found out and she could already feel the uncomfortable flush spreading across her face and down her neck. Everything seemed to warp and collapse as her eyes stung. 

The straw that broke the camel’s back was a small sliver of ceramic that decided now was the opportune moment to embed itself into her palm. Pearl yanked her stinging hand away, using the other to muffle a sudden sob that escaped against her will.

“ _ O-oh _ , uh…” Amethyst was now wide awake. Her arms came up in a placating gesture, eyes flicking from Pearl to the hallway and back a few times before she turned and took off down the hall. 

Oh god. She was going to tell Garnet. Then she would know that Pearl fucked up too. She didn’t know whether to renew her efforts of cleaning up the mess, or flee and deal with the fallout later. The former seemed to be the only plausible option, for when she tried to get up, she had no strength in her legs. 

Pearl shuffled some of the shards into a small pile, but it seemed more and more like a lost cause. Whatever she cleaned was only made dirty by the small droplets of blood oozing out of her hand - which had acquired a few more stinging slivers. Before Pearl could figure out what to do about it, the tell tale sounds of a door opening and closing had her pressing her eyes shut tightly.

“Pearl?” Came the low, gentle voice.

Pearl clenched her teeth, trying to control her breathing.

“Are you alright?”

_ No! _ She wanted to scream.  _ I’m not alright! Nothing is alright! _ But there was no way to explain it. There was no cause or reason. The feeling always snuck up on her and made her feel like she was going to lose her mind. Like something was just  _ wrong _ and she had to find it and fix it before she fell apart at the seams. She pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to make herself smaller as a shamefully pitiful whine squeezed out of her chest.

Suddenly, a warm hand pressed gently between her shoulder blades. Pearl flinched at the sudden touch, but didn’t shy away, focusing on it as it rubbed slow circles into her back, forcing some of the static in her limbs to retreat.

“Can you hear me?” Garnet’s voice came again.

She gave a stiff nod, keeping her face buried in her knees.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

She shook her head, curling tighter.

“That’s alright. Is it okay if I pick you up?”

Pearl hesitated, but gave a small nod. The hand retreated, replaced quickly with strong arms across her back and under her knees. Relief bloomed in her chest as the heat seeped into her legs and through her sweater. Her hands stayed curled near her chest, careful not to get any blood on Garnet -she had already caused enough problems- but her face pressed into her collar. It was easy to let the world narrow down to the arms around her and the collar bone pressed to her cheek. She was aware of them moving, but she wasn’t sure for how long. Pearl kept her focus on Garnet’s warmth and the smoky scent that lingered on her skin.

Pearl was jostled a bit and a click painted her eyelids orange.

“I’m going to put you down now.”

A whine burst from her lips, unbidden, and she grimaced at how needy she sounded.

“It’ll only be for a few minutes.”

She was sat down on something hard and she fought the urge to bring her knees up again. Instead, she slowly opened her eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the light. Pearl blinked a couple of times, finding herself on the bathroom counter as Garnet rifled through the cupboard. Her eyes widened when Garnet withdrew the first aid kit.

She had to fight to find her voice, and even then it was a small murmur, “I-I can do it myself.”

“I know.” Garnet assured, taking out the tweezers and gauze anyways.

Pearl’s eyebrows knit together. She didn’t know if it was the fog in her head that made it difficult to understand, or if Garnet was being vague. “T-then why-?”

“I’d like to do it.”

Garnet took her hand gently, inspecting it for a moment before quick, precise hands pulled out the few pieces of ceramic still embedded. The sharp jolts of pain, while unpleasant, had a grounding effect. Pearl tried to focus on it, even though her breath hissed through her teeth when Garnet rinsed it off and applied disinfectant.

When her hand had been wrapped in a soft bandage, she was delicately pulled back into Garnet’s arms. Pearl found that she could relax a bit easier this time around, gingerly looping her arms around Garnet’s neck. A pang in her chest cut through the haze and she looked down, the painful heat returning to her cheeks. 

“I’m sorry.” She croaked.

Garnet simply glanced down at her and said, “It’s okay.”

She was carried into her room and gently set on the bed. The fabric of the sheets pulled a soft sigh from her lips and she looked at the woman. “Thank you.”

Garnet nodded, giving her back another gentle rub. As Garnet began to pull back the covers, a sick feeling twisted in Pearl’s stomach.

“W-Wait, I still need to clean up the plate!” She sputtered, chest tightening.

“I got you, girl.” Amethyst spoke up, nudging her way through the door with her arms full of mugs and giving Pearl a startle. She stepped over to the bed carefully. “Cleaned it up. I even wrapped it in newspaper so it wouldn’t cut up the bag.”

Slowly, as not to spill it, she held a pastel blue mug out to Pearl. Her fingers twitched as she wrapped them around the warm cup, but she willed them to keep still. Surprisingly, it worked this time. She brought it close to her chest, the scent of warm chamomile soothing the tension in her shoulders.

“Thank you, Amethyst.” Pearl murmured, mustering a small smile for her short friend.

A hint of pink lit up her cheeks and she ran a hand through her pale hair, looking somewhere to the side, “Don’t worry about it, P.”

Garnet sat down beside her, leaning back against the headboard and beckoning to Amethyst. To Pearl’s surprise, she didn’t cannonball into the bed as if it were a swimming pool. Instead, Amethyst wandered over and slipped under the covers, hardly jostling the mattress. She passed one of the mugs to Garnet before pulling her phone out and fiddling with it for a moment. Soon, Brahm’s Waltz filled the air with it’s soft melody. 

That was nice. Even with the less than desirable speaker built into the phone, the soft violin and steady beat seeped into her head and mixed with panicked haze, calming and pacifying it until it was no more than a sparse fog. She leaned back against the headboard, sipping at the tea. Pearl’s eyes began to sting again when she realized that it was exactly how she liked it. She scrubbed the threat of tears away with a sleeve, there had been enough of that.

“I’m sorry waking you both up so late,and for causing so much trouble.” She uttered, barely louder than the music. “But thank you, for all of this.”

“You don’t need to thank us.” Garnet spoke up, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Another found it’s way around her waist. “Yeah, don’t sweat it, Pierogi. You’ve done tons for us. Remember when I freaked out at that party and you drove all the way there in the middle of the night to take me home?”

“Or when I was ill and you took an entire week off of work to take care of me.” Garnet reminded, a smile pulling at her lips.

“That’s not even counting all the times you helped us out in college!” Amethyst chuckled,giving her a squeeze. “It’s okay to take a break sometimes.”

Garnet nodded and set her glasses on the nightstand. Pearl felt like her chest was filled with warm cotton. “We care about you, Pearl. We wouldn’t think less of you for needing our help every now and then.”

Pearl looked at both of them, letting out the last of the static in a deep exhale and letting her body sag into their arms. A sudden lethargy had come over her, but she was content. Cuddled up with these two and filled to the brim with warmth, nothing felt so urgent anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of want to make this into a little slice-of-life series, but we'll see how it goes.


End file.
